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Fearfighter

Early on a Friday morning, I saw on my newest friend's (Eddy) status message on her Blackberry Messenger - "I have Interview". Instantly, I remembered the first interview I had as a growing up youth; how cowardly I faced my interviewers, the headache that struck me after hearing the first question and how remarkably poor I was, at the end of the interview. I also remembered the recent interview I had with a West Africa Agency; how brilliant I was in facing the panel of evaluators, how I used my response to manoeuvre the poor result of my written test and how I got improved over the years. I can't keep all the experience I had over the years away from Eddy-this new friend of mine, as she was so curious of the interview. I gave her a few lines of what she can do within the nip of time, since it remains less-than one hour to the time of the interview. It was my encounter with Eddy that aroused my inspiration of focusing my write-up on "Fear". This write up will take analysis of a resource granted to me by a writting buddy and Narrative approach which is related to my experience so far. I have taken my time to sub-divide it into eight steps that one will have to take to overcome fear. 1. Take time out to calm-down. It feels impossible to think clearly, when you’re flooded with fear or anxiety. A racing heart, sweating palms and feeling panicky and confused are the result of adrenalin. So, the first thing to do is take time out so you can physically calm down. Distract yourself from the worry for 15 minutes by walking around the block. When you’ve physically calmed down, you’ll feel better able to decide on the best way to cope. 2. Do not be too anxious! When you're anxious about something, be it work, a relationship or an exam, it can help to think through what the worst end result could be. If you start to get a faster heartbeat or sweating palms, the best thing is not to fight it. Stay where you are and simply feel the panic without trying to distract yourself. Placing the palm of your hand on your stomach and breathing slowly and deeply (no more than 12 breaths a minute) helps soothe the body. The goal is to help the mind get used to coping with panic, which takes the fear away. 3. Face the giant! Avoiding fears only makes them scarier. I once had a neighbour raring breeds of Dog, she told me that the more you play with dogs, the more it get used to you. Stand in the lift and feel the fear until it goes away. Whatever your fear, if you face it, it should start to fade. Be ready to encounter the worst! Each time fears are embraced, it makes them easier to cope with the next time they strike, until in the end they are no longer a problem. Try imagining the worst thing that can happen – perhaps it’s panicking and having a heart attack. Then try to think yourself into having a heart attack. It’s just not possible. The fear will run away the more you chase it. 4. Fear is not real! Get real! Fears tend to be much worse than reality. Often, people who have been attacked can’t help thinking they’re going to be attacked again every time they walk down a dark alley. But the chance that an attack will happen again is actually very low. Similarly, people sometimes tell themselves they're a failure because they blush when they feel self- conscious. This then makes them more upset. But blushing in stressful situations is normal. By remembering this, the anxiety goes away. 5. Don’t expect perfection, but work towards perfection! Black-and-white perfectionist thinking such as, "If I’m not the best mum in the world, I’m a failure," or, My results are not yielding the best, so my life is a mess," are unrealistic and only set us up for anxiety. Life is full of stresses, yet many of us feel that our lives must be perfect. Bad days and setbacks will always happen, and it’s essential to remember that life is messy. Remember that how intense the sun is, rain will still fall on that same land. 6. Imagine that you are safe! Take a moment to close your eyes and imagine a place of safety and calm: it could be a picture of you walking on a beautiful beach, or snuggled up in bed with your dearest next to you or a happy memory from childhood. Let the positive feelings soothe you until you feel more relaxed. If you can think it, you can have it. 7. Talk about it Sharing fears takes away a lot of their scariness. If you can’t talk to a partner, friend or family member, go online and chat with buddies. And if your fears aren’t going away, paste it on your status message that "I am about to die" you will receive many response asking the details of your status message. Those who respond to you are your partners- FearFighters. Try the basic and reward yourself mentally! 8. A good sleep, a wholesome meal and a walk are often the best cures for anxiety. The easiest way to fall asleep when worries are spiralling through the mind can be to stop trying to nod off. Instead, try to stay awake. Many people turn to alcohol or drugs to self-treat anxiety, with the idea that it will make them feel better, but these only make nervousness worse, but eating well will make you feel great physically and mentally. Finally, give yourself a treat. When you’ve unravelled the puzzles or made that call you’ve been dreading, reinforce your success by changing your status post to "I am back and better", a massage, a country walk, a concert, a meal out, a book, a window shopping, or whatever little gift makes you happy! I hope you have benefited from this, feel free to comment on it and pass it across to your friends, but notify me if you wish to use it commercially or request for more resources!

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